If Only Laziness Were a Virtue

I don’t know how other bloggers post multiple times per week. I do apologize for my absence, though. I could tell you that it was for a noble cause because I was off digging wells in third-world countries to bring people clean water or that I was teaching Tibetan monks how to speak English.

Then again, I could take a more adventurous route and say that I was wrestling polar bears in Alaska or surviving in the wilderness with nothing but a toothpick and a box of fruit rollups. (Okay, the Alaska one was probably too unbelievable. I’d never be caught dead in a place that cold.)

Jeremy Clarkson agreed to take my place in the wrestling tournament since I would've been too cold.

Yes, I could tell you any of those awesome stories for why I’ve been away for a few months, but sadly, none of them would be true. The truth is, I was pretty much just lazy. 

But, to prove to you guys that there are people out there who are lazier than me (at least in the world of fiction), I’ve decided to put together a fun list of seven lazy characters from the books in my challenge list and a few other books. They are not listed in any particular order, because they are all lazy in their own ways. In fact, for some of them, antisocial may be a better word to describe them. Either way, hope you enjoy!

Literally Lazy Lads & Lasses

1.       From Charles Dickens’ Bleak House (which I finished reading forever ago and need to put up a review for), I give you Harold Skimpole. This character was probably one of the most annoying people in the novel. He’s one of those people who doesn’t even try to hide the fact that he’s lazy, but he makes excuses for himself by saying that he’s just a child and doesn’t know anybody. 

      For those of you who haven’t read the book, Skimpole is, in fact, a grown man with three daughters of his own. He is simply too lazy to get a job or take any responsibility for himself. Although, to be fair, some of the other characters in the novel totally enable him and continue to lend him money. Dear readers, be a better friend to the Skimpoles in your life by telling them to get off their lazy butts and get a job.

Nuff said.

 2.       Another lazy character is Frederick Fairlie from The Woman in White. This man is just as content in his laziness as Skimpole, but at least he can be lazy without having to get other people to pay for his indulgences. Instead, Fairlie sits cooped up in his bedchambers all day, and only complains when visitors come to see him. They are either talking too loudly or the light is too bright from the window. No matter why you may need to see Fairlie, you’re probably better off just skipping the trip. Let Fairlie sit in his rooms and miss out on the fun and enjoyment of other people’s company.

The modern version of Frederick Fairlie. I'm warning you: Stay away!

 3.       That brings us to number three, another miserable old person who shuts herself in her rooms all day: Miss Havisham from Great Expectations. Quite a bit more eccentric than Mr. Fairlie, Miss Havisham goes around in her ancient and tattered wedding dress all day, holding on to a hatred for all men that was caused by her being jilted at the altar many years ago. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, am I right?

Yikes! What Not to Wear would have a field day with this one.

 4.       Next up is Colin Craven from The Secret Garden. At first, he is one of the biggest crybabies I have ever come across in literature. All he does is lay in bed and moan about how he’s going to die. Similar to Skimpole, though, Craven is very enabled in this mindset. All his life, he’s been treated like some sickly invalid, too ill to move from his bed. Good thing Mary comes along when she does. Otherwise, little Craven could’ve wound up like the grandparents in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, except he would’ve been in that bed his whole life.

Not exactly my idea of a fun slumber party.

 5.       This next character is one that hits a little closer to home for me. Cassandra’s father in I Capture the Castle is a one-hit wonder of an author who made it big with his first book and is struggling to write anything else. All he really does is hide up in his room and “attempt to write” when in actuality he’s not even making an effort. As a fellow writer, I can relate to the fear that my next writing piece will never amount up to what I have already written. And, I’ve never even written a best-seller! Writer’s block happens to the best of us, but Cassandra’s father lets it affect his entire life.

Hmmm. I wonder if this is what Dodie Smith was doing. o_O

6.       As a HUGE Sherlock Holmes fan (yes I saw the new episode and it was AWESOME!), I couldn’t leave out Sherlock’s big brother Mycroft from this list. He may be a fairly thin and active character on the BBC show, but in the books he is a bit more like the version they portrayed of him in the Christmas special: overweight and content to sit in the Diogenes club being brilliant while other people do the legwork. Mycroft is definitely brilliant, but he uses his intelligence as an excuse and a reason for him to feel entitled. Being a smart cookie does not mean that you are smart enough to sit at home and eat cookies.

"Deduce me like one of your French girls, Sherlock."

 7.       To finish off this list, I have included the one character that I can think of who is acceptably lazy. That person is none other than Sleepy the Dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. I’ll be honest, I don’t know if Sleepy is in the original fairy tale or not, but he’s adorable in the movie. Being sleepy and lazy is this character’s namesake, and he lives up to his name well. He could happily fall asleep anywhere, which, to me, seems like a superpower. 

Despite his tired nature, though, Sleepy still manages to make time for his friends and join them for dinner. He even trudges off to work with the rest of them. If you’re going to be lazy, use Sleepy as your guide. You may be able to pull it off as an adorable character trait of yours. I haven’t been so lucky just yet.

Sleepy: The Ultimate Laziness Guru

Can you think of any other lazy characters in literature, movies, or t.v.? I’d love to hear what you think! And hopefully, I won’t be so lazy next time and I will get a blog post up much sooner. I’ve got a few books to review and share with you all! Till then, happy reading!