If Only Laziness Were a Virtue

I don’t know how other bloggers post multiple times per week. I do apologize for my absence, though. I could tell you that it was for a noble cause because I was off digging wells in third-world countries to bring people clean water or that I was teaching Tibetan monks how to speak English.

Then again, I could take a more adventurous route and say that I was wrestling polar bears in Alaska or surviving in the wilderness with nothing but a toothpick and a box of fruit rollups. (Okay, the Alaska one was probably too unbelievable. I’d never be caught dead in a place that cold.)

Jeremy Clarkson agreed to take my place in the wrestling tournament since I would've been too cold.

Yes, I could tell you any of those awesome stories for why I’ve been away for a few months, but sadly, none of them would be true. The truth is, I was pretty much just lazy. 

But, to prove to you guys that there are people out there who are lazier than me (at least in the world of fiction), I’ve decided to put together a fun list of seven lazy characters from the books in my challenge list and a few other books. They are not listed in any particular order, because they are all lazy in their own ways. In fact, for some of them, antisocial may be a better word to describe them. Either way, hope you enjoy!

Literally Lazy Lads & Lasses

1.       From Charles Dickens’ Bleak House (which I finished reading forever ago and need to put up a review for), I give you Harold Skimpole. This character was probably one of the most annoying people in the novel. He’s one of those people who doesn’t even try to hide the fact that he’s lazy, but he makes excuses for himself by saying that he’s just a child and doesn’t know anybody. 

      For those of you who haven’t read the book, Skimpole is, in fact, a grown man with three daughters of his own. He is simply too lazy to get a job or take any responsibility for himself. Although, to be fair, some of the other characters in the novel totally enable him and continue to lend him money. Dear readers, be a better friend to the Skimpoles in your life by telling them to get off their lazy butts and get a job.

Nuff said.

 2.       Another lazy character is Frederick Fairlie from The Woman in White. This man is just as content in his laziness as Skimpole, but at least he can be lazy without having to get other people to pay for his indulgences. Instead, Fairlie sits cooped up in his bedchambers all day, and only complains when visitors come to see him. They are either talking too loudly or the light is too bright from the window. No matter why you may need to see Fairlie, you’re probably better off just skipping the trip. Let Fairlie sit in his rooms and miss out on the fun and enjoyment of other people’s company.

The modern version of Frederick Fairlie. I'm warning you: Stay away!

 3.       That brings us to number three, another miserable old person who shuts herself in her rooms all day: Miss Havisham from Great Expectations. Quite a bit more eccentric than Mr. Fairlie, Miss Havisham goes around in her ancient and tattered wedding dress all day, holding on to a hatred for all men that was caused by her being jilted at the altar many years ago. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, am I right?

Yikes! What Not to Wear would have a field day with this one.

 4.       Next up is Colin Craven from The Secret Garden. At first, he is one of the biggest crybabies I have ever come across in literature. All he does is lay in bed and moan about how he’s going to die. Similar to Skimpole, though, Craven is very enabled in this mindset. All his life, he’s been treated like some sickly invalid, too ill to move from his bed. Good thing Mary comes along when she does. Otherwise, little Craven could’ve wound up like the grandparents in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, except he would’ve been in that bed his whole life.

Not exactly my idea of a fun slumber party.

 5.       This next character is one that hits a little closer to home for me. Cassandra’s father in I Capture the Castle is a one-hit wonder of an author who made it big with his first book and is struggling to write anything else. All he really does is hide up in his room and “attempt to write” when in actuality he’s not even making an effort. As a fellow writer, I can relate to the fear that my next writing piece will never amount up to what I have already written. And, I’ve never even written a best-seller! Writer’s block happens to the best of us, but Cassandra’s father lets it affect his entire life.

Hmmm. I wonder if this is what Dodie Smith was doing. o_O

6.       As a HUGE Sherlock Holmes fan (yes I saw the new episode and it was AWESOME!), I couldn’t leave out Sherlock’s big brother Mycroft from this list. He may be a fairly thin and active character on the BBC show, but in the books he is a bit more like the version they portrayed of him in the Christmas special: overweight and content to sit in the Diogenes club being brilliant while other people do the legwork. Mycroft is definitely brilliant, but he uses his intelligence as an excuse and a reason for him to feel entitled. Being a smart cookie does not mean that you are smart enough to sit at home and eat cookies.

"Deduce me like one of your French girls, Sherlock."

 7.       To finish off this list, I have included the one character that I can think of who is acceptably lazy. That person is none other than Sleepy the Dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. I’ll be honest, I don’t know if Sleepy is in the original fairy tale or not, but he’s adorable in the movie. Being sleepy and lazy is this character’s namesake, and he lives up to his name well. He could happily fall asleep anywhere, which, to me, seems like a superpower. 

Despite his tired nature, though, Sleepy still manages to make time for his friends and join them for dinner. He even trudges off to work with the rest of them. If you’re going to be lazy, use Sleepy as your guide. You may be able to pull it off as an adorable character trait of yours. I haven’t been so lucky just yet.

Sleepy: The Ultimate Laziness Guru

Can you think of any other lazy characters in literature, movies, or t.v.? I’d love to hear what you think! And hopefully, I won’t be so lazy next time and I will get a blog post up much sooner. I’ve got a few books to review and share with you all! Till then, happy reading! 

Beyond Her Pale Crib Walls

Hello all!

The following is an original poem that I wrote when I was in high school. It was published in the high school literary magazine and is currently my one and only published piece. Hope you enjoy it!


Beyond Her Pale Crib Walls

By Shellie Kinard

The baby cries out softly

but no one hears her plea.

They don't know why she's whining

and, sadly, nor does she.

Her fragile heart is beating

to the rhythm of the clock.

It hangs upon the wall

making endless ticks and tocks.

Her little fingers reach out

then curl up into balls.

She looks out with curiosity

beyond her pale crib walls.

The surroundings lie in shadows.

Her timid eyes cannot see.

This crib is safe and warm

yet she longs to be

                            Free.

The Bookman's Tale Review

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     After reading the Earth’s Children series, it was weird to read such a short book. Weird, but still very refreshing. The Bookman’s Tale by Charlie Lovett was my consolation prize for having made it through my last reading adventure. I’d had my eye on this book for a while, and I’m glad I finally got a chance to read it.

     Peter Byerly is the main character in this book. He is an antiquarian bookseller who, while struggling with the loss of his wife, gets entangled in a web of conspiracies that dates back to the time of William Shakespeare. It all starts with Peter discovering a miniature portrait of a woman that dates back to the 1800s. The strange thing is, the woman in the photograph looks just like his wife.

     There were definitely some mysteries throughout this plot that made me want to keep reading and get to the end. I think what I enjoyed most, though, was the love and appreciation for books that many of the characters had. In fact, I’m pretty sure I want to be an antiquarian bookseller myself when I grow up. Actually, I would probably just want to keep all of the books for myself instead of making money off of them so that wouldn’t work. I think I’d rather be a wealthy book collector. J

     I gave The Bookman’s Tale a three because it’s one of those books where, once you’ve read it and you find out what happens, you don’t really feel the need to read it again. I definitely recommend reading it if you never have before, but I probably won’t pick it up a second time.

     One thing I enjoyed, though, is the way Lovett plotted out the story. He set the course of events up over three separate timelines that alternate between chapters. One timeline was set far back in the past, beginning with when Shakespeare was just starting to produce his plays. Another timeline was set in the recent past to show how Peter and his wife met and what happened over the course of their relationship. The third timeline was set in the present to show what was currently happening to Peter and how he was being affected by the events from the other two timelines.

     I don’t think I’ve seen a story plotted out quite that way before, and it always intrigues me to see how authors organize stories that take place over multiple periods of time. I’d love to write something that takes place in the past, and books like this one give me ideas for interesting ways to plot that out.

     If you enjoy reading novels about people who love reading as much as you do, add this one to your list. Another novel that has a bibliophile as the main character is The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield. I absolutely loved this book, and I can’t wait to read it again someday!

    

     What are some great novels that you’ve read about people who love books? I’m always looking for recommendations in this category!

The Land of Painted Caves and Overall Series Reviews

     Okay, so I’ll be honest with you guys. Normally, I am super upset when a series ends, and I have to take a few days to grieve the end of the story. Even if it had a happy ending, I’ll never get to read a story with those characters again (at least not an authentic one written by the actual author).

     I enjoyed the characters of Ayla and Jondalar, and their love for each other was very inspiring. Once I had finished this final book, though, I was so excited!!! It felt like a huge accomplishment to finish this series, and I couldn’t believe I had finally made it through! Maybe it’s just been awhile since I’ve read a complete series straight through, but this one felt pretty overwhelming.

     However, it was still an incredibly written series. I knew I’d be itching to start on a book with new characters, but I felt that this book deserved a few days of closure as well. So, I told myself that I couldn’t start another book until I’d put up a review for each book in this series.

     Now, here I am, at the final review. It’s been a long journey, friends, but we’ve finally made it. Without further ado, here is my review and rating for The Land of Painted Caves and the series as a whole.

Rating:

  

  

     Growing up with the Clan, being cursed with death and banished from the only family she could remember, struggling to survive in the wilderness with only a horse and a cave lion to keep her company, saving a man’s life and traveling on an epic journey with him back to his homeland, meeting and befriending various tribes along the way (some friendlier than others), and finally making it to her future mate’s home to start a family of her own.

     These and many other events are all things that Ayla has gone through to become the person who we see in the sixth and final installment of Earth’s Children: The Land of Painted Caves. During each leg of her journey, we’ve been side-by-side with Ayla as she’s learned about acceptance, survival, love, perseverance, and family.

     Her lessons aren’t over just yet, though. This last book is all about Ayla’s final tests as an acolyte before she can become a full-fledged Zelandoni. On top of her training, she still has to find time to balance her equally-important role as a mother and wife. We’ve seen Ayla go up against giant prehistoric animals, dangerous elements of nature, and even harmful people of her own kind, but how will she do when facing the ordinary difficulties of everyday life?

     Whether or not you’re married with kids and trying to work a job at the same time, I think this book shows a side of Ayla that we can all relate to. We’ve all struggled to balance our obligatory work or school load with our social lives at some point or another. It’s a constant juggling act, no matter what role you play in life. 

     It’s actually kind of a relief to see in this book that we’re not alone in these struggles. Everybody goes through them, but as Ayla and Jondalar show us, if the people in your life are really important to you, you won’t let anything stop you from sticking together.

     I ended up giving this one three Star Lords, because I thought it wrapped the series up pretty well, but some of the problems with Jondalar and Ayla felt a little too similar to their struggles in The Mammoth Hunters. Once again, I found myself frustrated at how stupid they were both being, but I totally wanted to give Danug a huge high five after the talk he gave them at the end.

Overall Series Rating:

   

     Even though the average amount of Star Lords makes it seem like the series should be rated as a three, I decided to rate the overall series as a four. Jean M. Auel writes her books in a unique and impressively in-depth style that allows the reader to experience the prehistoric era in the most realistic way possible. I walked away from the series feeling like I really had gone on a journey back to the Ice Age.

     One of my favorite things about the series is how Auel fit in moments of innovation that perfectly explained how certain everyday creations could have come about. It feels like you’re watching life-changing history in the making when Ayla comes up with the idea for the “thread-puller” and Jondalar for the “spear-thrower”. Part of me kept waiting for one of them to invent the wheel. Not to mention, her explanation at the end for creating the term “father”. That word has deeper meaning for me after having read this series.

     Even if you are not sure whether you want to read the entire series, I recommend that you at least read the first novel if you get the chance. Auel is a master writer, and she knows how to fully immerse her readers in the story’s setting.

     Well, about seven months later, I’ve finally finished this astounding series. Hooray! If you’ve read through it yourself, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Did you feel as accomplished as I did to make it through?

     Other than that, I think the most appropriate thing I can leave you with is the last line of the Mother’s Song:

“Earth’s Children were Blessed. The Mother could rest.”

The Shelters of Stone Review

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*For those of you who haven’t read The Plains of Passage yet, SPOILER ALERT!

     I feel silly saying spoiler alert for this post because, was there really any doubt that Ayla and Jondalar would make it back to his homeland? True, there were a few moments that probably had us all a little worried (like the S’Armunai War of the Women), but sure enough, our heroes prevailed!

     In The Shelters of Stone, we join Ayla as she finally gets to meet the Zelandonii. In a way, the whole series has really been leading up to this book, more so than the final one. Ever since Ayla came to realize how different she was from the people of the Clan, she’s been searching for people like her and a place to call home.

     She’s been welcomed almost everywhere she’s gone and even adopted into another family, but there was always this temporary feeling at each place. Her heart belonged to Jondalar, and he could never be satisfied living somewhere other than his true home. Now, at long last, Ayla can really sink in her roots and start a family with him.

     This book was a tough one for me to rate because there wasn’t really anything in particular that I disliked about it. At the same time, nothing extraordinary really stood out to me.

     This far into the series, I’ve gotten used to Auel’s phenomenal attention to prehistoric detail, and I know all of the incredible things that Ayla is capable of. Overall, it was a bit less memorable than the other books. So, it has been given the rating of three Star Lords.

     The one thing I loved about this book, though, was that we finally got to meet all of these people that we’d heard so much about: Jondalar’s mother, Marthona; his older brother, Joharran; Willamar, Folara, and all of his other family members; Marona (ugh); and, of course, Zelandoni, not to be confused with Zelandonii, the name of the people as a whole (yeah, that’s totally not confusing).

     Needless to say, none of these people were expecting Jondalar to come back after five years had gone by, and they definitely weren’t expecting him to show up with a beautiful foreign woman, two horses, and a wolf. Read for yourself to see how each of them reacts and welcomes (or doesn’t welcome) Ayla into their home.

     If you’ve already read this book, I’d love to hear what you thought. Were Jondalar’s family members and his Zolena similar to how you thought they’d be?

The Plains of Passage Review

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* For those of you who haven’t read The Mammoth Hunters yet, SPOILER ALERT!

     Oh my goodness, this book was exhausting!

     In The Plains of Passage, Jean M. Auel’s fourth installment in the Earth’s Children series, Ayla and Jondalar go on a year-long journey to travel back to Jondalar’s people, known as the Zelandonii.

     Just like with all of the other books in the series, Auel does not fail to place her readers firmly in the story. I applaud her incredible craftsmanship, but, due to that skill, I too felt like I had gone on a journey of epic proportions. Can you even fathom taking an entire year to get somewhere?

     Allow me to digress for just a moment to put this into perspective. When I was about four years old, I went on a family road trip from Florida to the Grand Canyon. I don’t remember how long it took us to get there with all the stops we made along the way, but, according to MapQuest, it takes about a day-and-a-half one way if you drive continuously. 

(I tried to see how long it would take to walk there since Ayla and Jondalar traveled by foot and horseback, but MapQuest couldn’t even calculate it.)

     By the time I got home from this trip, you’d better believe I marched right into the house, grabbed my plastic Minnie Mouse chair, plopped it in front of the television, and sat my butt down. True story. At such a young age, even I understood that more than one day is too long to have to be on the road.

     Yet Ayla and Jondalar dared to set out into the wilderness for 365 days (give or take) through fields of grass that towered over their heads, bug-infested swamplands that made their skin itch, and many other treacherous landscapes.

     Using one of my favorite suspense tricks, Auel also gave them a pressing time limit in which they had to reach their destination. They had to make it across an icy plateau glacier that lay at the end of their journey before the end of winter. Otherwise, the ice would start to melt and it would be too dangerous to cross. 

     Remember, this was long before the invention of GPS, and there was hardly anyone around that you could stop and ask for directions. One wrong turn and they’d never make it home.

     While I was definitely anxious to see if they would get there in time, this book still felt like it took forever to read. I was probably more excited than Ayla and Jondalar by the time this trip was finally over.

      So, book #4 in this series was given 3 Star-Lords. Excellent attention to detail as usual, but a little too long of a trip for my tastes. I think next time I’ll just stay home in my Minnie Mouse chair and leave it to someone else to go traipsing through the plains of passage.

** I couldn't find a picture of me in my Minnie Mouse chair, so I've left you with the next best thing.

Mini me finds the lack of dinosaurs on this prehistoric trip to be highly disappointing.

The Mammoth Hunters Review

            

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*For those of you who haven’t read The Valley of Horses, SPOILER ALERT!

     I don’t know about you, but I was thrilled when Ayla finally met Jondalar. What are the odds, though, that the first of her kind that she meets is the most handsome man on the planet and he just happens to fall in love with her? If only it were that easy in real life.

     Nevertheless, now that she’s finally found her mate, Ayla travels with Jondalar and they happen to run into the Mamutoi along the way. The Mammoth Hunters is the third installment in the Earth’s Children series, and it focuses on Ayla and Jondalar’s extended stay with them.

     I gave this book three Star Lords because this one started to feel like it dragged a little bit more than the first two. It was exciting to see how Ayla handled meeting a whole group of Others for the first time, but spending a large part of the visit stuck in a cave with everyone in the winter can get kind of boring. You know how it gets when your relatives visit for the holidays. By the end of the season, you’re practically kicking them out the door so you can have a little time to yourself again. Yeah, it was a little like that.

                

     Still, it had its high points as well. In fact, my favorite scene in the entire series (and I’m writing this after having read all of the books in the series) is in this book. It’s all the way at the end, though, so I don’t want to say too much. Let’s just say it has to do with Jondalar asking Ayla a question, and leave it at that.

                

      During their stay with the Mamutoi, Ayla and Jondalar go through a pretty big rough patch in their relationship. Aeul gives us a deeper look into all of the interesting characters that she introduces and there’s a lot of fascinating anecdotes, but the underlying current is how Ayla and Jondalar develop (or don’t) as a couple. It definitely kept me reading to find out how they were going to fix things, but I also wanted to smack both of them upside the head for being so oblivious to each other’s true feelings.

       It’s interesting how silly a problem can appear when we’re given insight into what both people are thinking, but Ayla and Jondalar only have their own perceptions to go off of. They simply can’t see what we and all of the Mamutoi around them know to be true. By the end of the book, we come to the same realization as these two clueless lovebirds: love isn’t always as easy as you think it should be, but it’s always worth fighting for.